I cannot express the endless joy and perfect peace the comes through Christ.

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You, surrendered
All I am is Yours

Oh man

Today was a guilt trip day, A good one. Actually they're all probably good. anyways. I thought I had it all figured out. That I knew exactly what God wanted out of me. Or at least for the most part that is. And after school got out I would be completely free to pursue God's ministry. But before I could do that I needed to finish school. So my priorities have always been school. Focus on school, graduate, then freedom. A straight path to God's mission. Man was that ignorant.

It seems God always trickles little hints. Over the past couple weeks talking to completely different people About God's plan, our plan, and God's will and what not I always tended to brush off thinking I had it all figured out. This isn't to say that there are completely new plans. no. The plans are exactly the same. But I've been blind to the journey this entire time. To all the people along the way, and all the conversations that could've been, and all the ministering that should've been. But I've been too selfish, scared, and narrow minded to see all that God is doing. I am man, what can I say?

For this is God, our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.

Psalm 48:14

August 28, 2009 1:31 am

Today was good. For so long it's been hard to connect with God. and where he is in this world. But it's so simple, and complex. This also shows who God is and what God is. God is everywhere. God is forever. He is those around me. He is in my heart.

Also, on another note. For a while now I've been stuck on the idea that all my job is, is of this world.So how does that serve God? But at the same time, God gave me the talents I have. And he put me where I am. So this is where I will serve the Lord. By being an ambassador for God to those I work with by creating content that drives, inspires, and challenges people in their faith. By giving what is not mine to those in need. So I will work hard so I can fill God's blessing.

August 14, 2009 12:57 am

So God works in funny ways. At tonights group we talked exactly whats been on my mind lately. Well kind....but some good points came up. This [Church] is definitely where I need to be.

You will seek me and find me. When you seek me

with all your heart. I will be found be you, declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:13-14

(Still looking....)

Mood: Stoked

It's always amazing taking a step back and taking a broad look at everything. Literally EVERYTHING. Before I knew Him, before I asked Him, before evening conceiving the idea, God was working. I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am if it wasn't for God's hand moving me along. All the major moments, all the minute details, all the things you never thought would matter, God used. Not Only in my life, But the life of those around me. How much of an impact people have on each other and how much their lives intertwine and by how by simply opening yourself up to Christ, He will use you, wherever you are at any moment.

I've always felt so blessed to have the Job I have. It's my dream job. At the same time I always feel uncomfortable telling people of my work. So often it seems to come across as conceited or arrogant, which is not my intentions at all, Or they just straight up don't believe me. If only they cared enough to talk about the WHY. The why is everything. He is everything.

After contemplating for so long why God has put me here, Why He has brought me to California, why He brought me to the Church He has, why He gave me the talents He has, and why He has given me the job I have. There are so many reasons and so many endless ways to serve. First need to pray for patience and persistence. This summer I may have the opportunity to travel to China for work. China! We've been talking about it at work for a while, But it has just recently occurred to me why God is opening this opportunity. I only recently found out China was closed to missionaries. Even still God is placing so many amazing people over there to do his work. If it's in his plan to carry his word over there, Awesome! I will follow with an open heart.

Never been more stoked for what God's doing everywhere. But at the same time never felt so ill-prepared.

This leads into a new topic... pre-destination. It's stupid. I believe in the will of God, and man's choice to follow his will. pre-destination completely defeats God's purpose for life. Another topic for another day.

He has shown you, O man, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice,

and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God"

Micah 6:8

August 13, 2009 9:41 am

Ok, so this doesn't have as much to do about God, but about growth and growing up. Which I guess does have to do with finding God, but not directly.

So often we mistake growing up with change. But what about the word grow means to change? (I don't think i fully thought that sentence through when I wrote it...) No, grow means, well, growth. It's expanding who we are. Expanding in knowledge, expanding in experience. So to grow isn't about losing who we were, but expanding who we are. Also, we will never be "grown up" because we will always be growing.

About Prayer

by Mattie Stepanek

When I go to my God
On bended Knee or any pose,
When I beg for assistence
With my friends or any foes,
When I gush words of joy
Or any thoughts of any little thing,
When I go to my God
With whatever prayer I bring...

I've got one foot planted
In my here, now today,
And one foot planted
In some heartbeat away,
I straddle the line
Of my earth-life and then,
I touch what I'm creating-
My reality some-when.

When I go to my God
I am revealing my soul,
When I pray for the world
Or my future, every goal,
When I rush thoughts of love
Or faith in any little thing,
When I go to my God
With whatever prayer I bring.

I've got one foot planted
In my here, now today,
And one foot planted
In some heartbeat away,
I straddle the line
Of my earth-life and then,
I touch what I'm creating-
My reality some-when.

See, the prayer is the link between
Our here now and our Then,
Yes, prayer is the connection
Between what will be and what's been.
And, prayer is the answer to
Each prayer within each heart,
Prayer can reassure us
That We're never far apart.

I've got one foot planted
In my here, now today,
And one foot planted
In some heartbeat away,
I straddle the line
Of my earth-life and then,
I touch what I'm creating-
My reality some-when.

So I go to my God
On bended Knee or any pose,
and I beg for assistence
With my friends or any foes,
Then I gush words of joy
Or faith in any little thing,
And I know that our God
Will hear whatever prayer I bring...

Cause I've got one foot planted
In my here, now today,
And one foot planted
In some heartbeat away,
I straddle the line
Of my earth-life and then,
I touch what I'm creating-
My reality some-when.

August 8, 2009 12:51 PM

I think this is going to be a long one...

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how we hold value to material things. Especially with Jonathan being in Africa, reading their trip blog updates about how Joy is found in our relationships with those around us. This was brought further on Thursday during bible study when we went out to the district to observe and confront those around us. It came up in our discussions how we hold so much value to things such as music, and media and stores. Thinking about his put me in an inner struggle with work. Because thats what I do: promote, create, and advertise material goods. I know God put me in the place i'm in for a reason,but what reason is that? Am I suppose to wait till God reveals his plan? Or do I take action on a plan and let God guide me?

I know there's more to this life, but what is it?

One thing that bothers me, more of another struggle/barrier, is what makes our religion correct over another? Why does our religion have to be right? Maybe what I'm writing isn't coming out clearly. If I know my religion is right, and some one else knows their religion is right, how much do I force my beliefs on them? Do I simply state my beliefs and live and let be? Or is it my duty to jam it down their throats? How much of this is our own pride?

The Bible says, "Seek me with all your heart and you will find me."
....nothing yet. I'll keep trying.

August 1, 2009 12:46 AM

Maybe the question "Who is God?" is the wrong question. Maybe it's "What is God?" or maybe there is no question at all...

It's interesting how people stress the need to be intimate with each other. Just this need to be with someone. My relationship with Lindsie taught me one critical point I had been missing my entire life. The unique physical bond between a husband and wife. I never saw the importance of this being unique. This whole thing about relationships is much like our relationship with God (whoever He is). We should have a unique relationship with God, the most important point to this all, Which is personal to me. I've never been able to fully commit myself to a relationship. Always some sort of hold backs or withdraws. Maybe this is how I've been with God?

July 29, 2009 12:02 AM

Reading Case for Faith.

Pg 33
"Only in a world where faith is difficult can faith exist"
"...scripture defines God as a hidden God. You ave to make an effort of faith to find him."

Dr. Seuss

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

Faith!

It's pretty amazing.

How often do we live our lives making decisions based on our supposed knowledge. How many times do we hold back because we're afraid. I'm not saying these are bad things; knowledge is essential and fear can be our safe barrier. But where do we rely? On whom do we place our faith? Even still, We may talk of faith, and we may preach of faith, but do we live by faith?

I was listening to one of mike Erre's sermons today and as you guess it he was talking about faith. More importantly, do we live a life Truly placing faith in God? That he will continue to provide for our needs and that we can truly do ANYTHING through Christ?

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

"so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God." 1 Cor. 2:5

I grew up in a Christian house, but not a house of faith. Even today I can see my parents placing their trust in the things of this world, putting a higher value on a career rather than God's kingdom. Whenever I tell them of involvement in another ministry I'll hear from them "are you sure that's the smart choice?" or "Russell, your dealing with dangerous people, can't you leave that work to someone else?" I understand their worries, but all I can say to them is "It'll be ok."

God's been working in my life and in the life of those around me before I even asked him to, before we even knew he existed, he was moving. It is by faith that we allow him to continue to work.

Living a life of Christ isn't about "knowing the right answers" (important yes), but living a life of faith in the power of God.

Bowed Heads Bring Better Sight
by Julius Mashini

The road ahead is deep and wide
The gate to follow is lost in the tide
What gives hope is arms that hold
And grace that grows

With heads bowed to follow the line
A quick side glance to view
A long side look to lose teh way
A Prayer and a bow adjusts the Course

What way am I that leads
How can this be that I can see
Why do I deserve this hand
That leads me straight to you

The Amazement of the cross

Today I am excited.

Excited in the awesomeness of the Cross.

In the sacrifice Christ made so we can come to know Him.

Excited to share how the Cross changes Everything!

This past month has been a struggle for me in my Faith. Even though I was just baptized, I continued to doubt. Why the Christian God? Why is Christianity true over Judaism or Islam or other world religions? Even still, continuing to pray, continuing to worship, continuing to to be thankful.

Today my heart has changed. The Christian life isn't about being kind, or simply helping others. It's about the cross. It's about the Sacrifice Christ made so we can receive Grace. We don't give to feel good about ourselves. We give to show the sacrifice that Christ made for us. So you can know and see and experience Christ's Grace of forgiveness and love.

Here is a story of what Christ's sacrifice looks like:

A murderer is on death row, fully guilty of the Crime he committed. The day before he was to be put to death a man comes to him, tells him he is free, and takes his place in his cell on death row. Not only is he ready to face the impending death, but he is joyous that he can share the freedom and life that is now available.

I've never been more thankfull for the Cross the the Grace that God has given us.

Lord, I pray that other's may see who you really are. That they may see past the stereotypes this world has given you so they may receive the true gift you have given us all. Give me the strength and courage to be an example of who you are. So others can see past the petty worries ans struggles of our everyday lives. Use me here Lord.

"Oh Happiness! There is Grace, enough for us and the Whole human race!"