fears

I have two fears.

(1) That I will fall from striving to live in Christ's image and become a Sunday Christian, and (2) that God doesn't exist. That I am, all that I work for, all that I strive to be is meaningless.

What else is there two fear? what else is worth fearing?

So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear;
what can man do to me?”

—Hebrews 13:6

I believe with full confidence that God exists. That Jesus Christ was his son on earth and the God's spirit is an acting force, alive and moving today. Yet it still plagues my mind that He might not exist. That the core of my beliefs are wrong. It deeply saddens me how much time I give thought to this. Time that could be spent in God's word or in prayer.

I fear this not for the possibility that it is true. God's alive. I fear this because effects me, because it detaches me from the relationship I have and can have with Christ.

But there's comfort and rest. So long I've been stuck on the idea that we search and strive for Christ because that's what human do. Because we have this need for God. But this is not the reason. We strive for God and seek Him because He exists, and He wants us to find Him.

Coming back from Mexico was amazing. Times like these when your on fire for Christ and you can see what he's doing throughout the world. That He's bigger than you or I, or the American religion so many make it out to be. You don't want to loose that passion.

So I ask for your prayer. If you see me fall, call me out, lift me up. And I will do the same for you.

Lord, I pray to you now. Never leave my side. I am yours.